Peeing and stuff

Why am I so freaked out by the sound of people peeing? Specifically men. Is anyone else afflicted with the sudden urge to bolt, giggle, or shift in your chair when randomly placed next to a bathroom while waiting for, um lets see..... a doctor, or an insurance agent? Please tell me that I am not the only one that finds the sounds of a zipper unzipping and a spash of water that sounds like Niagra Falls, a little disturbing, icky or just plain grose. It's not just the sound of them peeing that freaks me either, I don't particularly enjoy anyone else listening to my bathroom visits either. In highschool I used to get up and go to the second floor of the house so my boyfriend wouldn't hear me pee....so I don't descriminate!

Twice in the last 2 weeks I had the unfortunate experience of sitting in a quiet room, RIGHT next to a bathroom. And let me tell ya, the 2 hotties that entered the bathroom, were not so hot when the exited.

I am thinking about starting a petition to have building codes legislated with a "sound proofing, the bathroom" clause. Any takers??

J

The definition of insanity

Untitled Document

I will certainly never get over this.

...and I am at a loss for words.

Beep Beep!

I am pleased to announce that I am now the proud owner of VW Bug!!! I was very surprised yesterday when my studying was interupted by a VERY generous set of parents who showed up to hand over the keys to a green 2000, Beetle.
Anyone who knows me, is aware that I had a deep attachment to Jetta. She was my parents old car...the first new car I saw them buy...the car I learned to drive with, and got my lisence with....and she took me through 248 700km. It was very sad to see her drive away.
Since Jetta, although affectionate, was not a very orginal name for the 1995 VW mobile....I have decided to open up the stage, to the most creative people I know, for suggestions on names for the Bug. So far, her name is LoveBug....but there has been no christening of this name yet....
Stay tuned for pictures...which will be taken on the next sunshiney day!

THANKS!!!

Just wanted to give some serious PROPS and a BIG GIGANTIC thanks to the amazing group of people who made this BIG B-day a truely fabuloso experience. My life in pictures was simply unbelieveable, and thanks to the production crew that made it possible, I plan on subjecting all visitors to a private viewing!! AGAIN thanks guys!!

When you look at all the good times on screen it makes you look at life completely differently. AND I'll never forget the visual of Tash, putting this all together in her ripped sweats, with a baby on the boob!

THANKS guys!
Amy, Jenn W, Tash, Dave, rents!

Happy Birthday Holla

30 years ago today a superstar was born...and she hasn't stopped shining since! J-Dub, I hope your day is full of sparklers and noise makers!! And if it's not.....we'll be sure that your OTHER birthday, tomorrow, IS.
Love,
all the girls out there who don't poop

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO ALL!!

Ok, so as it would seem, today is a very popular day to be born. Over the course of many years, March 9th has spewed out such children as J-Dub, Qball, and Kayla....all very special and wonderful individuals.
Also born on March 9th, but of much less importance are:
Emmanuel Lewis - Webster
Kato Kaelin -OJ Simpson's sidekick
Bobby Fischer - the chess player
Kerr Smith - Jack McPhee from Dawson's Creek
Timeless rappers: Bow Wow, C-Murder, and Chingy
Leland Standford - the founder of Standford University
Yuri Gagarin - the first person to orbit the earth

So there you go...lots of reasons to celebrate!


globeandmail.com : Horoscopes: "Thursday, March 9th

If your birthday is today:

Most things will go well for you over the coming 12 months but one thing in particular will convince you that, at last, your luck is on the turn.

Hopefully you will have learnt from past mistakes and not take this as an invitation to rush in where angels fear to tread. All things are possible but it is still best to avoid extremes."

Happy new Decade to me!!!!!!!

Feeling surprisingly gleeful on this day of days. I have officially entered a new decade and phase of life. I know it’s just another day, and I am officially only one day older but strangely enough it DOES feel a little different. I have already gone through all the feelings of inadequacy; still single, no kids, etc etc, I have been sad, scared etc..BUT those are all the things I don't have. The things I do have, far outweigh; SO instead of waiting till thanksgiving, I have decided to think of all the great things in my life on my BIG B-DAY!

--this morning I have a decorated cubicle and a hot (free) French vanilla cappuccino on my desk, and a happy b-day song to start the day. This means I have great co-workers. AND they made healthy snacks for me, so either they are really hungry OR they really like me. I prefer to think that it’s ME!
--I have an amazing family who never cease to amaze me, make me laugh or feel protected and loved!
--2 beautiful nieces and a nephew who are teaching me about patience, unconditional and instant love, and most importantly how to dodge flying feces
--I have AMAZING friends, who are fun, thoughtful, giving, beautiful, wonderful people
--a great job with challenges, security and lots of freedom (and I am secretly in love with my boss, so that's always fun) Oh wait that's NOT a secret.
--I'm healthy, and have an exercise regime that is easy to deal with and am ALMOST happy with my body etc.
---right now I am tanned, so that is always great, had a great trip south, and REALLY love my own country now
--I could also list all of the material things that make life fun, like my new TVO, car, etc but looking at all of the awesome things above makes the material things seem shallow and unimportant.

SO to sum up, on this super sunny day, I am oozing with gratitude for this life and for the people in it, and is probably the sappiest, happiest post I will ever make. I look forward to the thousands of guilt free calories that I will consume over the next 2 days, and hope to post later with any B-day adventures that might come up! Peace out!

j

The Things I Learned from Oscar

Obviously I would be making a post about the observations I took during last night's Oscars....

MY FAVORITE MOMENTS AND LIFE LESSONS:
1. Ben Mulroney is annoying and akward "I'm Ben from Canada"..."Say 'hi' to Canada"...Ben, stop embarassing Canada!
2. The fact that about 60% of the red carpet interviews made me feel uncomfortable...one in particular with Jamie Foxx, who talked about bowling, and apparently longer than the interviewer wanted him to.
3. Ben Stiller is funnier than his dad...and looks simply amazing in a unitard
4. Unitard is a great, under utilized word
5. When the flash to your wife in the audience, thank her....unlike some guy no one knows, (or really card about what he had to say) did during his acceptance speech
6. Point number five leads me nicely into #6....which is....IF I DON'T KNOW YOU, KEEP IT SHORT....if no one at home knows who you are, then you have really have a very great speech...we will tolerate boring speeches for actors we recognize....but NOT you, sound byte guy.
7. J-Lo's arms are quickly gaining on her ass in size demsions
8. Can someone explain to me why they flashed to Morgan Freeman while the guys were accepting their award for March of the Penguins...and then put the spotlight on him?! What does Morgan Freeman have to do with penguins?
9. The guy who looks at his family and says "go kiwis".......what???
10. Meryl Streep and Lilly Tomlin....nicely done ladies
11. We were almost lucky enough to have someone fall...and I really thought, after Jennifer Garner had a very big wobble, almost tripping on her dress. Although watching how red her face got afterwards was somewhat satisfying....I really would have been complete had they flashed to JLo in her seat watching that happen.
12. Actors...of the male gender in particular....really age.

BEST SPEECHES:
1. The lady who thanked the Academy for sitting her next to George Clooney during the nomination luncheon
2. The foreign flim guys speech tugged at my heart strings a little bit
3. George Clooney, the first speech of the night, definitely got a few chuckles out of me...I would imagine there's some pressure to be the first acceptance speech of the night, and he did a good job
4. Obvioiusly Reese Witherspoon had a very sincere and heartfelt speech, very nice to see, and was exactly what I would expect from the country girl
5. The Three 6 Mafia were definitely the most excited, and surprised, to be up there giving an acceptance speech...I loved it!! Mind you, I couldn't understand I word they were mumbling and yelling into the microphone....it was very entertaining, and I was extremely happy they picked up the prize for that.

THE WORST SPEECHES
1. The exact opposite of the Three 6 Mafia speech was the one given by some biotch who won for best adapted screen play (for Brokeback Mountain).....she got up there and looked like it was a painful chore for her to be there and accept that award...and not painful in the way she was just so nervous...but that she was simply way above an award like this......she didn't crack a smile, she sighed and went on like the whole process was just exhausting her. I was just sitting, hoping, waiting for someone to come up to her, grab that oscar out of her hand and club her across the face with it....I now hate hate hate this woman.
2. Any speech that was given by someone I didn't recognize (eg. sound editing, costume design, etc).....BOOOORRRRRINNNGGG.

BEST DRESSES:
1. Keira Knightly probably took my best dressed shout out
2. Felicity Huffman's dress was hot
3. Michelle Williams is one of few people that could wear a canary yellow dress and look beautiful in it.
4. Uma Thurman....there was something very simple and elegant and soft about that dress, that made it a toss up for best dress of the night (sharing the honor with Keira Knightly)
5. Reese Witherspoons....i wasn't sure how I felt about it...I could have easily put it in this category, or the worst dressed
The honorable mention goes to Jennifer Aniston..

WORST DRESSES:
1. Charlize Theron...the sickness of the giant bow on her shoulder was diminished only from the sickness of her hair
2. The same above, goes for Jennifer Lopez...ick....you have such nice hair, don't slick it back with a pound of grease..then wear a barfy green dress...what's wrong with you?!
3. Selma Hyek...that dress made one boob look way bigger than the other...that's not a quality I look for in a dress...

Comments??

Oscar...more than just a garbage can grouch on Sesame St.

So tonight's the night....red carpet, fancy outfits, crazy speeches, and if we are lucky maybe even a trip up the aisle or something.
This afternoon I went out to get all my essentials I need for Oscar night: Ben and Jerry's Half Baked icecream, peanut butter M&M's, salt and vinager Stacked Lays, Timmy Ho's creamy vanilla yogurt and berries, ready to go microwavable popcorn, and Chewy Chips Ahoy chocolate chip cookies....and my favorite pajammas are already laid out on my bed.
I thought that I would enlighten you all with my picks for the big winners of the evening, and I encourage everyone to leave their picks as well.

ACTOR IN A LEADING ROLE: Philip Seymour Hoffman - Capote...this man has gone unrecognized for way way way too long...and anyone who can act in a whole movie with that accent and not slip up or laugh, is quite the actor in my eyes.

ACTOR IN A SUPPORTING ROLE: Jake Gyllenhaal - Brokeback Mountain.....he's unbelivably smokin hot, and he convincingly made out with Heath Ledger....give the boy a prize already!

ACTRESS IN A LEADING ROLE: Reese Witherspoon - Walk the Line....this one was tough because I think all the nominees are deserving...however, Reese is so friggin cute, and I'd like to see her get recognized for a more serious actress instead of a legally blonde girly. That being said...if Felicity Huffman won, I'd clap just as loudly.

ACTRESS IN A SUPPORTING ROLE: Amy Adams - Junebug...I will admit I have not yet seen this movie, although I've passed it many times at my local Blockbuster and wanted to take it home with me....I am still voting for her because, obviously, her name is Amy, and I just can't argue with that...plus, I will always see Michelle Williams as that menacing girl nextdoor, Jen from the Creek.

ANIMATED FEATURE: The Corpse Bride - that movie just visually pretty and I enjoyed it a lot

CINAMETOGRAPHY: Memoirs of a Geisha...again, I haven't seen this movie YET (though I did read the book!) and although Brokeback Mountain had extremely beautiful scenary...it was nature...I don't think movie people had much to do with Canada's naturally beautiful landscapes, so I'm not going to give them the prize for it. I think Chronic-what-cles of Narnia should be in this category if you ask me...which apparently no one did.

COSTUME DESIGN: Mrs. Henderson Presents....which funny enough is, in a very basic sense, about NUDE dancers hehe

DIRECTING: Crash...no questions or explainations needed if you've seen the movie

DOCUMENTARY FEATURE: March of the Penguins...haven't seen it yet, but it's basically the only one on the list I've 1)heard of and 2) actually do want to see

MUSIC: It's Hard Out Here for a Pimp - Hustle and Flow...becuase I can't get this chorus out of my head for weeks....

WRITING (ADAPTED): Brokeback Mountain....or...Constant Gardner.....I'm at a total toss up.

WRITING (ORIGINAL): Crash...to pull all those stories together to deliver a message as strong as that one...wow.

and the big one.....

BEST PICTURE: Crash...one of the most powerful movies I've seen in a very very (possibly ever) long time.....


P.S. Jon....I know already that you are going to be the highlight of my Oscar night

TRYING pics

Ok here is my attempt to post a few pics....AND I am holding you to that part about getting a crew to go away...when you and LORRIE graduate...better prepare for a bash!!! I am starting to save NOW!!!

Drunkin relatives and such!

Well fellow poopers, I have braved the tin can plane once again, travelled to a dictatorship and am no worse for the wear. I have to admit to being a little tired from all that relaxing, a little peely from all the sun and a little happy to see the red and white flag waving. FUCK I love this country! So anyway here are a few of the highlights from my trip……

--Relatively smooth ride down, although my attempt to take some mind altering anxiety medication failed miserably. But I guess that's what I get for taking drugs from 1999--Blew an entire day in bed after getting extrememly sloshed from wine, beer, shots, brown cows, sex on the beach (the drink - unfortunately) and other alchohol related drinks. Mixing drinks - NOT my greatest plan. Stumbled home, and actually found my room….on the first day!

--rode on a bannana boat, got thrown off and had a small head inury--laid in a hammock IN the water, sat on lawn chairs IN the water, and did a lot of swimming

--drove extremely fast in a speed boat, swam with the fishes, and held a gigantic LIVE starfish(did you know that they are black when they are alive)…well ya do now!

--accidentally deleted 44 pics from my camera (on the last freaking day) NOT my finest hour

--observed my family DANCIN on a bar and YES that includes my MOM - PICS included in the 44 that were deleted

--got stalked by a cuban cook, hid from the cuban cook, and then felt bad after he gave me a necklace with a heart on it…

--got in SHIT at the airport for loosing my temporary travellors visa, was told to sit in the corner by a man with a gun, watched my family clear customs, and convinced myself that I would be happy living alone in Cuba and working as a maid

--met countless BRITS and adopted the word PROPER and NOBHEAD as part of my vocab

--smoke a Cuban cigar

--dove off a peer

--waited an hour to use the freaking computer to send e-mails to friends back home

--shopped at a tiny market everyday….we referred to it as going to the mall

--played tennis, beach volleyball, and walked about 50 miles--ate more bread, pasta, pizza, and french fries than I ever thought possible.-

-stayed awake for over 24 hours

So all in all I would say a pretty good trip, but glad to be home to a country where people make more then 15.00 a month

Tryign to attach some pics...we'll see how that goes

J