KFC war

** Names have been changed, although not necessarily to protect the innocent

Ok...so as most people know, I live behind a KFC, in fact, my bedroom overlooks their parking lot. From my perch I see a lot of things go on.....things that made me come to the decision that not only will I never EVER eat there, but neither will any of my friends or family. The workers on their breaks coming out smoking their cigarettes, coughing up all kinds of colourful shit and spitting them out on the ground, the delivery whore who goes around with her delivery boyfriend all night, with her little girl in the back seat happily guzzling fountain pop from KFC, and don't even get me started on the bums that live in their dumpsters (although entertaining, not very good for increasing ones appetite).

Well Ladies and Gentlemen, this Tuesday night, my hatred towards the Quinpool KFC establishment and their sub-hygenic staff, came to a new level.

I was on my way to my Tuesday night golf lesson, and as I was walking to my car, I notice a piece of paper, with the following typed on it:
"Your Licence plate has been recorded down for our files.Please do not park your car here, this is for customer parking ONLY. If you Continue to leave your car here, we will have no choice but to have it towed at your expense.
thank you for understanding
KFC Management
**Steve McNuttless"

Now here's a little background, factual info for you all. Since I live behind a KFC, I sort of live in a parking lot...a parking lot that MY landlady owns 3 of the parking spots, and has a contract with the OWNER of the KFC in which she rents those 3 spots out the Grease-Fire-Waiting-to-Happen. But, since this year one of her tenants required the use of a parking spot, she had their contract amended so that they now rent out only 2 of the 3 spots, leaving one for Bug. To make things even better, I am actually parking in the spot that the OWNER of KFC suggested that I park in (the one furtherest away from KFC, and closer to my house).

So, back to the moment I discover this love letter from **Steve McNuttless, I am instantly filled with rage that my enemy has made a move to TOW MY CAR. I storm over to KFC, golf club in hand, and march right in front of the lost souls waiting to EAT the shit they fry up there, and go right up to some retard working the cash:
Amy: "I live in the house behind you, and I just found this note on my car saying that I'm not supposed to be parked there. Now I'd like to speak to a manager"
KFC retarded worker: blank stare "ok"

Now, enter Jennifer, the manager currently on duty.
Amy: "I live in the house behind you, and I found this note on my car saying that I am unable to park in the parking spot. I happen to pay for that parking spot, since my landlady rents 2 of her 3 parking spaces out to this place,and keeps one for me. So, if my car DOES get towed, someone here (and yes, i actually did the finger point to people behind the counter) is going to be held financially responsible."
Jennifer: "I don't know anything about this note, but my district manager (DM) just left and I'll call her and see if she is home. And Steve is our headoffice manager, he was here for like 5 minutes today."

Of course this DM is not home at them time...so Jennifer leaves a message with DM to call her, then Jennifer takes my name and number, and gives me HER name and number...which turns out to be worthless, because I noticed that Jennifer has no pull at her place of employment. I tell Jennifer, that I will be gone until after 8pm, and to have someone return my call after this time.

But no, KFC does not comprehend the concept of time. So I come home from golf saying that DM had called, and told my roommate that my car will be ok. Well DM, that is NOT sufficient enough for me. So, I call Jennifer back (becuase conveniently, DM's number on our phone comes up as 'unknown') and I tell Jennifer that someoen called BEFORE 8pm, and I want to speak to them, so she says she will call DM and tell her to call me back...I wait...and wait...and no call ever comes.

I get up the next morning to my roommate fearfully informing that that the "No Parking" sign I had posted over my parking spot was GONE. So...not only did **Mr. Steve McNuttless leave me a note, he STOLE MY NO PARKING SIGN. That, my friends, is stealing, and I believe, it is against the law. And I want to know...how does this headoffice manager, who is there for 5 minutes, know my car is there all the time....unless one of the workers told him and ratted me out!! And then, this Mr. Bigshot Headoffice Manager, doesn't even bother to look into WHY my car is parked there 7 days a week 24 hours a day??? Perhaps, talk to the OWNER of the store, or someone who doesn't throw out garbage and fucking deep fry crap for $7.50/hr!! Nope....he just gest busy writing notes and stealing signs.

So, you might be wondering "Amy, what do you want from all this??" I'll tell you what I want...I want to talk to **Mr. Steve McNuttless, and I want to yell at him, and tell him WHY I park there, and then when I feel statisfied with my bitchy, yet factual explaination, I want an appology...AND...I want a NEW no parking sign, not delivered to my door, no, I want it HUNG BACK UP where it was!!!

Of all the fast food places to put a note on my car....it couldn't have been nice, clean McDonalds nextdoor...no...it had to be my born enemy KFC....it was a deliberate act of war if you ask me.....and they are going to regret it.

So, this morning, I call **McNuttless...tell him who I am, where I live, and recap the note he left for me.
Steve: "We didn't know that was you, we thought it was someone from across the street who shouldn't be there anyway. I will call and notify the store that the green car is yours and is allowed to park there."
Amy: "There is also the matter of a No Parking sign that I had posted on the fence behind my car, which has been removed."
Steve: "Well, we can probably look into getting another one of those...but we have a lot of vandalism in this area...people going onto our roof and spray painting our signs (which I watched two punks do about two weeks ago!!!), spray paint the fence, so it very well could have been them. But I'll call the store and notify them, and feel free DEAR to go over and introduce yourself, we are neighbors! And then maybe we can avoid another embarassing situation."

Well Steve....I'm not embarrassed....and I did introduce myself, with my golf club in hand, in a minor fit of rage, so I'm PRETTY sure they'll remember me.

Now lets see how long before I get a new No Parking sign.

I've won this battle KFC.....but I doubt the war is over.

(Side note: As I'm typing this, there is a KFC worker out there with cigarette hanging out of his mouth, moving plastic boxes around, and throwing things in the garbage....and it looks like he did not shower today at all...or possibly even this week.)