Ma sistas - If you office is like a soap opera, puts your hands in the air and say WHOOP WHOOP!!!

In today’s episode, the office flirt/drama queen makes further embarrassing gestures towards the office manager/virgin. The office villain engages is further acts of treachery towards the couple and plots their demise. Tune in next week when the villain prepares to expose the truth on the relationship and send them both packing. Or shoot them whichever comes first.

Making a Federal Case

Have you ever encountered an individual who insists on making a federal case out of just about everything? Fuck I have.

I think that when I was younger I was more inclined to fight and argue over the littlest thing just for the sake of it, but now at the ripe old age of 29 I really don't feel the need to go rip roaring around the place spouting off because the fucking Tims cups and plastic tops are not separated and placed in the correct recycling bucket. I just can't seem to grasp the constant need for drama, I mean it must be exhausting, who has the time and the energy to blab that much.

Here are some things I think Federal Casers should do instead of giving me a migrane;

1) Plant some flowers. - god knows they make the word a better place, and if I am lucky they might get stung by a bee…there's carma for you

2) Go play in traffic - my mom used to say that to me all the time when I was little and getting "under her feet" and I think it could be fun for them, just like frogger. And if they happen to get squashed, all the better.

3) Go to Blazes! - Another one of my moms favorite sayings. Blazes sounds like a fun and some what hot destination. So either they get a massive sunburn, peel and blister, or burst in to flames. Either way, I'm fine with it!

4) Just Beat-It! -This could either mean "Get the fuck out of here real fast cause I am going to pummel you" OR a Flashback to old MJ days, and we know what he likes to do to people, so either way..again…I am happy cause…EWWWWWW

And Finally

5) Eat Shit, And Die Motha fucka - pretty much self explanatory I think.

Reality TV Withdrawl

You know that saying "I think, therefore I am", well in my case its more like " I watch TV therfore I am" . That's right people. Pathetic, but true. I am generally addicted, and darn proud to say it.. to my 8-10 primetime emmy award winning time slot every evening. But as we know, all good things must come to an end.

So here summer looms, and hollywood decides to take their usual 15-20 week vacation to rest up from the constant drama and angst they are forced to endure every week. Primetime is Fresh out of "fresh" new episodes, and in their place I find repeats, strange TV mini series, and YES Dare I say it ...Canadian Idol.

I understand that Seth, Ryan, Brooke, Nathan, Peyton, Rory and the bevy of other TV hotties, deserve a much needed break to make the odd movie, or perhaps run with the Bulls in Pamplona, but I just can't seem to help this feeling of emptyness and longing. You fill a bizzaire yet entertaining part of my gloomy paper pusing days, and I truely miss you.

So basically here I sit....just me, and big bad Benny M, for the next 8 weeks. Can I take it?? Tune in next week to find out.

On another note. Boys with wierd fucking redneck accents BUG me. Especially the ones that call all the fucking time. I will never again approach, call, or bother another guy that's "just not that in to me", cause now I see it, I get it....its annoying...so STOP it!

J.