Singles Awareness Day
How could I let this occasion pass without some kind of homage to old Saint Valentine..so here it is, the top 10 reasons why I fucking hate Valentines Day.
10. It's impossible for anyone to come up with a completely original date on V-Day so even if you have a BF anything you can do has already been done
9. I am pretty sure that some dude from Hallmark invented it, got a promotion and now sits fat and rich in a pimped out mansion somewhere eating all the chocolates he wants with his big fat wife, laughing at all the pathetic people who helped him swindle millions
8. Men/Woman who feel obligated once a year to show each other how much they love one another...ummm hello, if you only like each other 1 day a year shouldn't you re-evaluate your relationship
7. Fucking CKBW is playing sappy love songs all day, and have been mentioning V-Day since 6 am this morning..jesus there is no escape
6. PITY FLOWERS - As much as I LOVE my parents, its really pathetic that the only bunch of flowers that I get is the one that I get from them EVERY Year. And even sadder is when co-workers enter my office and see the flowers, and get all excited because MAYBE it might have been a boy that sent them. Then I have to squash their joy and break the news that its a "pity bouquet" from my parents. Really just spreading my depression and misery to others!
5. People that have Romantic dinners at Pizza Delight! BARF
4. The poor fucking kid in Elementary school that gets no Valentines ( something like Ralf who only got 1 from Lisa, that said...".you choo-choo choose me" and then finds out later, that it was a pity valentine(much like the one I got from my parents)
3. Eating too much chocolate and going into a sugar coma - cept for those who are allergic, who eat some and die (that's perhaps a little worse) Plus I am on a diet and supposed to be giving up chocolate, so every bite makes me more and more guilty!
2.Any day that makes a point of putting relationships (good or bad) in the spotlight, and making those who are not in one, feel like pathethic lepors has to go
1. I don't have a boyfriend or a potential booty call, so I won't be getting laid!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
The only good thing about this day, is it is centered around PINK which is awesome and always a reason for me to celebrate .
V-Day Sucks!