SWF
So I haven't posted in ages....but I have been keeping up on all your rants. Here's one for all you ladies.
It has now been 7 months since I have been single. Why is that everyone always says being single is so much fun? At 19, 20, 21, yeah it is fun but at 25, not so much. So far I have had encounters with "the stalker," "the baby-maker", "the belly-button piercer", "the 'I have a girlfriend but you're the one'", oh and "let's be friends and hang out again ex". There are very few normal single people out there...minus myself and that in itself, is questionable.
Being an independent person, I know I do not NEED a man....but seriously, I would just like to come in contact with someone who does not creep me out. These are the reasons this single thing sucks:
- I have a formal to go to this weekend in which I am sitting at a table of 9....but it is supposed to be 10......I am the odd number!
- I have 4 weddings as of this summer to go to
- I have no bf to bitch about....and everyone is getting tired of hearing about the ex.
- I have no morals anymore when I go downtown....and my standards have declined dramatically.
- I live with a married couple!!
- I have a pretty green dress I would really like to wear somewhere special......
So, help me out ladies. Let me know why single-life is so great....or let me know of some kick ass places where normal people are!!
posted by Duff @ 4:56 PM
3 Comments:
Erin, Erin, Erin. Or should I say Rookie! miss 7 months single
In your rookie season I can certainly understand the mounting frustration. Having gone pro, perhaps I can enlighten you on some of the tricks of the trade. First of all, weddings, especially when you are IN one…there are a few options
1) Get drunk, real drunk – that way everyone remembers you as that SUPER fun single girl, that they will tell all their friends about
2) Lie – My BF is out of town. Make up a great story so that everyone is jealous of you 3) Be the errand girl – right hand woman to the bride, be at her becond call and have everyone remember you as the friend who saved the day. You might even get mentioned in one of the speeches. 4) hide in the bathroom “fixing your makup” when all the slow songs come on
Never ever drop your standards, the moment you do…you end up with a loser, and then the man of your dreams shows up…WAIT scratch that….get hooked up with a LOSER, and the man of your dreams is SURE to turn up.
Stalkers – they’re not so bad, makes you feel desirable!
And as for the pretty green dress – WEAR it man! Grocery shopping, Dentist Office, show it off lady. That way you become that crazy Sex in the City chick…
And finally, Normal – well normal is a thing of the past, and in the eye of the beholder….geeks are IN, and jocks are out. So sign on to that Treckies website and start shoppin!!!!
10 Sure signs that you have been single for too long
10. People actually STOP asking if you are seeing anyone
9. Friends and family start asking one another if you are gay
8. A hot bath, a movie, and some nachos with cheese are the highlight of your week
7. You begin to think that your friends’ husband with the comb over is kinda cute
6. You being to identify with ALL the Sex in the City girls
5. You start buying his and hers towels that only say hers
4. Your friends start identifying you as their “single friend”
3. You start planning to be a single parent
2. Vacation plans include a singles cruise to the Carribean
and the number one sign that you have been single for too long, That stalker you had a year ago is starting to look pretty damn good.
Chin up Erin, Solidarity sister!!!
Being single ROCKS, and all my exploits are well documented on my blog: www.adventuresinserialdating.blogspot.com
Reasons to be happy being single:
1. you can date ALL the guys you want to date, and they like you even more for being so unavailable
2. you can go wherever you want to, leave whenever you want to, and do whatever you damn well please, without thinking about another person's feelings/schedule/opinions
3. you're not that stupid girl that everyone bitches about behind her back for A: being so involved with her boyfriend, B: complaining about her boyfriend, C: falling off the face of the earth because she's spending time with her boyfriend.
Thanks gals...looking at single life in a whole new way...just what I needed!!
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