Winter Wonderland, MY ASS

I know that I am supposed to be Canadian and all, but let’s be honest SNOW sucks, winter sucks, ice sucks and cold sucks. Case in point. Friday night, FIRST major snow fall of the season. At first I thought, oh what pretty little white flakes how cute are you, falling all over the place all shiny and pretty. Yeah well the minute those pretty little white flakes begin to interrupt the movie that I paid 4.99 on Satellite to watch, they quickly become those ugly little fucking cold pieces of SHIT. They also play center stage in the ridiculous frustration that ensued that night.

So, the snow had been falling for a couple of hours, and after blinking and threatening, the power finally went out. BUT being the ever resourceful girl that I am (who had not a candle to be found) opened an xmass present to a relative that will remain nameless and finally had some light, found the phone, and called for back up. Yes that's right, this scared of the dark little chicky called her mommy. Mom and dad convinced me to come over, and so the adventure began. I might also add that in the process of looking out the window at the ugly cold pieces of shit, I proceeded to break my front blind, which left my scared, cold, little self exposed for all the world to see.

As I left the apt and headed to the rents, I couldn't help but notice that my brand new All Season tires had zero traction and were fast becoming another annoyance. Slipping and sliding I made it up the first major hill, but then. ….and I can admit this now. I panicked…. Half way up Aberdeen I chickened out and turned into a subdivision. Thinking that if I was going to get stuck on a hill, then better out of harms way and hidden from sight so no one would see the stupid idiot without snow tires. After trying a few times, I gave up hope of getting up the gymormous hills and called the rents (AGAIN) I can also admit now, that I was not the cool and confident girl I profess to be, I was annoyed, frustrated, and having to explain to my half in the bag father where I was, was just the icing on the cake. Finally they arrived with the SUV, (with snow tires) and I gave up the reigns to my dad, who after several failed attempts, made a run for the biggest hill, burned the shit out of my tires, and FINALLY made it home.

Now if the sight of the 3 of us, circling a subdivision trying to get the hell out isn't enough to make you chuckle. How about this one.

I mentioned the stormy weather earlier, well stormy weather and satellites don't mix. Needless to say, they had no TV at their house either. And heaven forbid the Waggs have no TV, no sports desk, nothing to watch before bedtime. So my 58 year old father and I, dressed in our warmest mitties and toques, haled out the ladder and climbed to the second floor of the house, with broom in hand to brush the snow off the dish. Standing there, freezing cold, watching my dad climb to the roof, snow and wind swirling overhead, was just enough to put me over the edge, I literally almost peed myself.

Good times, Good times